Me: I want my clothes to be too big for me.
Me, when the clothes are too big on me: The fuck is this bullshit.
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me: what do you want?
my brain: f r i e s
me: oh ok sounds g-
my brain: SKINNY NOW
me: what i thought u wanted fries
my brain: ch ips PIZZA thiigh gap choCoLate DAINTY b ing e binge BINGE pretty and thin NOW
my ed: how bout we just starve?
me: …
my brain: …
me: k sure
Me: *fasting for so long i can’t even comprehend eating*
Stomach: …hi
Me: >.>
Stomach: …
Me: …
Stomach: sooo you just gonna forget about me or-
Me: *turns up music whilst looking at thinspo*
Me: “oh shit I gained a lot of weight”
Me: “what should I do to calm myself down?”
Me: …
Me: …
Me: *binges*
me: *obsessively weighs myself*
me: *counts every calorie*
me: *fasts for 24+ hours regularly*
me: *lies about eating to loved ones*
also me: I don’t have an eating disorder, i’m faking it
to a normal person, eating 1000 calories before 3pm means it’s an average day.
to me, it means that I am weak.
to me, it means that I lost control.
to me, it means no more food for the rest of the day.
to me, it means an extra workout.
to me, it means that today I completely failed.
Eating 1000 calories at all is a complete failure
Me: I want my clothes to be too big for me.
Me, when the clothes are too big on me: The fuck is this bullshit.
My tumblr cycle
Me: *has thinspo blog*
Me 2 weeks later: imma recover be positive *make blog pro recovery space for healthy living*
Also me: *binges everyday as part of “recovery”*
Me after 1 week: Hey guys I’m back with this good thinspo🙃
Me to me: you’re 4.5 lbs away from your lowest weight don’t fuck up again
Me: *drinks Diet Coke furiously*
only-eaxting-galaxies